as a friend, as an old enemy

i love and i hate with a shallow sort of focus, like a dog worrying away at the ground. i can’t articulate my own emotions or thoughts on the matter, but i keep digging.

a puddle, shallow world within a shallow world. drowning in it, outta my depth.

lol i was thinking about getting a hamster and so did some research. apparently the longest most/all live is 3.5 years. so, like when you’re most in love with the fact you have a hamster, it dies.

we had a couple when i was younger, speed and joan jett. they had their own separate glass enclosures. it was disheartening, they spent their days sleeping and their nights trying to escape. so cute tho, i loved them. they lived about as long as they were supposed to, maybe a little longer..

this is the second-to-last week of classes. in one class we’re watching a movie, “all the way”, about lyndon b. johnson and the civil rights act of 1964. on the one hand, i admire his moxie, hustling the bill through, despite the dixiecrats and the general racist sentiment of the time…on the other hand, personally, he was kind of an ass.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i suppose it’s better to be generally okay and kind of abrasive than not at all okay and really really abrasive. my eloquent stand against trump.

i’m tired of people. per usual. like, i’m over the idea of having friends for the moment. we’ll try again next semester. people are just too complicated. im gonna get myself a hamster, call it a good 3.5 years.

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