i won’t be scared, i won’t defend the things I’ve done

the fourth of july is rapidly approaching. i’m not looking forward to it. fireworks are now completely legal in iowa, so people will be going crazy with them. they have already started. our dog lucy is scared of them, so last night i slept on the couch in the basement, where they can barely be heard by her.

i’m not a big fan of the fourth. a few years ago we went to an air show in sioux falls. that was interesting, but i’m not a huge fan of all the pageantry and trouble people go through to celebrate. i’m getting more cynical in my old age. i wish we were still under british rule. lmao. i wonder how much of an anglophile i would be then..

i wish independance day was like some religious holiday where people were actually  inspired to be nicer, more charitable. instead they get drunk and light off rockets, or watch pretty lights in the sky. i’m going to donate some money to somewhere for the fourth. haven’t decided yet. something cultural, that brings people together.

i had my hair dyed a couple of days ago, just the ends. it’s like an ombre, brown to red. i love it. elaheh loved it so much she wanted to have her picture taken with me. i love her. she is from iran, and we joke that the next time she goes she is going to bring me with her, as impossible as that is at this moment in time. we also joke that she is going to help me learn farsi and i will help her with english. she acts self-conscious about her speaking, even though for the most part she gets her point across, but i can totally empathize with not knowing exactly what you wanna say in another language. it would be seriously frustrating, especially if you are already shy.

i used to have a pen pal from italy, and i struggled to learn italian in a few days so i could speak to him so he would fully understand what i was trying to convey, as his english was passable but not quite fluent. lol i was stupid enough to try google translate, and it was so garbled that it was nonsensical.

adam is still in spain, and he is getting tired of his peers being irresponsible and partying too hard. he is such a buzzkill. i love ‘im.

me and armela did backroom stuff all week at work. stocking, laying clothes out to be hung up, hanging them, and helping unpack the truck. people like her and elaheh make work worthwhile. i tear up when i think about how lucky i am to have met people like them. they inspire me to see the world and take another chance on humanity. to love deeply instead of just shrugging off the emotion as naive and sentimental. love is important. love might not make the world perfect, but it shows you the way. i’m just in a good mood though, lol. i’m totally irrational.

i hope nothing bad happens. terroristy. bless us all on the coming independence day, in the name of love.

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