midas is king and he holds me so tight

we are back home. got back around 7pm yesterday.

my last two papers of the semester are being worked on. well, one of them is anyway. i am working on the one research paper, on winston churchill’s wilderness years. i’m interested in winston churchill, perhaps because i find him so multifaceted yet flawed, like an imperfect jewel.

yet i remember when i was younger and read biographies about him and got sad every time it ended with his death, and found that people excused his bigotry, his errors in judgement, and fondness for imperialism with an easy wave of the hand. and i was swayed by this, and my fascination neared hero-worship. i think it was his imperfection that held me: i was imperfect, too. but i had ambition. i wanted great things. that hero-worshipping girl is gone now. i am only ambitious in passing now.

for this paper i am going pretty in-depth, reading everything from gandhi’s hind swaraj to get a feel for his place in the world, to a few biographies on winston himself. piecing together winnie’s fall from grace and the decade in which he remained in his sort of exile..

we read some baudrillard in class, that smug frenchman who likes to write in confusing arcs of jargon. my professor liked my analysis of one of his lines so much that she used it as an example for the class. i was embarrassed beyond belief to have my words spit back at me, even in a positive way. i was confused by his prose, so was confused by my teacher’s appreciation of my understanding of it. but deep down i’m happy i guess, as i did really try to understand what he was trying to say in his writing.

i watched the first doctor who episode of the season, and was pleased. i like the new companion. i am excited.

i finished the two books that are currently out in the themis files series, and liked them. gotta love sci-fi.

i’m gonna be alright.

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