The dreams are superimposed upon reality until i cannot tell the difference. I swim in the visions of better, brighter days that could have happened but probably did not. Intermittent days and nights, sporadic moments of clarity. Focus on the present. and then the sea of the otherworld carries me away, pulling me under. But rather than drown in it, it is the thing that i breathe, the thing that sustains me.
like a child of the gray, aspiring toward the stark simplicity of black and white.
the future hangs ominous above like a corpse in a tree, rope creaking in the wind.
sometimes fear brings the world together in a way love cannot.
i’m doing alright. i have contemporary literature and comp 2 to keep me writing and reading, and i’ve been reading a lot of fantasy/scifi books for fun. ever since starting on a stimulant, i’ve been able to focus on the reading again.
i work this weekend in the CO, which i am resigned to. i have accepted my fate.
my family is doing well. my mom has several days off of work to look forward to. brent had an interview in DC, it went okay as far as i know. tyler and adam are still in ames, working hard. i haven’t talked to my dad in a while but assume he’s prospering.
the world is crazy. that i know for sure. beautiful and bright and crazy, and ugly and dark and crazy. i hate it and love it like family.