so don’t look ahead, ever look ahead. it’s a new year, i’m glad to be here

went to my dad’s the day after i got back from cancun. we watched the cowboys with john wayne on christmas eve. on xmas we watched josey wales. not a huge fan of westerns, but they’re good in their own way.

christmas went well. we went to liz’s mom and dad’s the night of. then i went home. tuesday i worked 7-3, wednesday and thursday i worked the same. i got thru it.

….

tomorrow is the sherlock season premiere! yay. i was going to see the doctor who xmas special in theaters but was too tired so i just bought it on itunes. i think it was 3.99, whereas the theater ticket was around 15, so a deal!

it was great.

i’m doing okay.

……

now it’s sunday and i’m doing nothing.  yesterday we went grocery shopping before the sun rose, best time.

new years passed without incident here, probs because i was asleep in bed like a loser. the only happy 2017 i got was from my therapist, lmao.

i think the sherlock premiere is at 9 in the uk, and it’s a 6 hour difference, soo yeah. i don’t even know where to watch it yet. i’ll figure it out, lol.

you know, new year and all, i might buy a season pass on itunes and just watch it from there, starting tomorrow. the season pass is 20 bucks, and it’s the same on amazon, sooo imma do that, possibly. i’ll think about it. i’m excited tho. i get waaay too invested in tv.

my motto for 2017 is gonna be “same”. i just wanna be agreeable and nod my head at the populace’s outrage at the state of things and make a lot of friends out of pure agreement.

i talked to this one woman, eleheh, at work. i’ve always liked her. she always has a smile and soft, nice words for people. she is from iran. why are all the people i meet from iran just beautiful, gentle people? lol. she sat next to valentina, who is from a small town near moscow. the world is so small where i work.

i’m such a freaking poser at times, tho. like i’m fascinated by other cultures and people, and i try to stay relative, and respect their ideas about life. but i feel a stupid, small superiority for it. like i’m just being tolerant and inclusive and all pluralistic to make myself feel better. i don’t know.

fatema, from bangladesh, showed me selfies of herself without her hijab, and i laughed when she asked me who it was in the photos. like without her hijab, she was a whole different person. and in a way, she was. but not really. lol.

i have a love/hate relationship with the world. i want to travel and i even like airports for all the rush and bustle, but sometimes, instead of rushing through them, i wish i could just sit in them and go nowhere and watch instead.

i’m not built for a purpose, sometimes i think to myself. i’m less than the sum of my parts, as i was put together wrong. i’m not built for the journey or the destination…

ugh now i’m just trying to be sad, lmao…

anyway, 2016 was a shit year and a great year on different levels for me. here’s to starting it all over again.

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