on the inside, back to what I really am

i had a good conversation with my stepmom. she is proud of me, she says. that’s nice.

i heard that a lot today.

i’m so full of self-doubt and loathing though, for so many reasons. i just don’t feel sincerely good inside. i don’t know anything anymore, if i ever did.

liz’s parents are coming over for dinner. lasagna. i’m going to have to act upbeat for a while, which is always hard for me.

….

dinner went well, i was social af, i was cheerful and all that. my smiles felt false tho.

 

i miss nameless.

i get sadder and sadder thinking about it. i always hated the forever alone schtick, but i get it. i get it.

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