coldness seems so much warmer with you

i’m not so deep in suffering now. tomorrow, i tell myself, tomorrow. it will be a 12 hour day, but it will be worth it. it is the only reason i came here.

chichen itza. yeah, it’s pretty much a tourist trap, but i have to pay respects to history.we all try to wipe it clean and new and make it our own creature to profit from, but it is what it is and what it has always been. untouchable, soiled as it is by time and human interaction. history, tho, is so beautiful. i saw some photos online once. they were color photographs from around 1910, they made me cry, how sad it is all the people i will never know and will never tell me their stories. all those minds, snuffed out and forgotten.

though the idea of it happening to me, the snuffing out of my mind and experiences, gives me a small comfort and thrill.

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