limitless, undying love which shines around me like a million suns

today was uneventful.

tyler is here from ames, asking for help with his application for sotheby’s. he’s a history major, and loves art, though he admits he carries no talent for it. it would be so cool if he could get an interview with them, because if he could get an interview, he is in. i believe in him, though he’s a jerk like me.

for a while it was looking like he would carry on in school and work to get a phd and teach, and he still might get that phd, but he said teaching just doesn’t interest him as much as learning.

haven’t heard from adam in a while. he’s going to be a physician’s assistant. he works too hard; will probably end up dead one of these days from pure overexertion.

and then there’s me. yeah there’s my brother thomas, my sister kelsi, but i didn’t grow up with them around all of the time. i don’t hold them to the same standards. i don’t worry about them doing well and finding self-actualization or happiness, satisfaction or whatever. they seem to have it well under control. me though, i’m a mess.

i need to choose a course and act on it.

i still feel like i’m just waiting to die. i don’t know how to overcome that feeling.





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