sleep don’t visit, so i choke on sun, and the days blur into one

i don’t want to be part of society. i want to spend my time with people i like. so, nobody. i don’t even really like myself. why would i like anyone else??
but being counterculture seems like so. much. work. too much, in fact. and then you die and all your progress was for naught. or if you’re lucky, you’re a martyr, and then your’e STILL DEAD.

today was class. i hated it. it gets me thinking and my thoughts just grind away like fingernails on a chalkboard. they’re discordant and ugly and bitter, and i feel as though i’ve just become the World’s Oldest Person™ and i now think all kids are the most freaking overzealous, credulous, provincial things the world has seen. and they are, duh, ’cause they’re kids and most kids in freaking des moines iowa haven’t seen shit, or thought about it. i blame myself for my misery tho. i’m just a burden to myself today. and plus, i’m really barely more than a kid myself, but i don’t even feel like it anymore. today’s a ten mile stare kind of day, i just can’t take the world.

i heard one guy say ‘that is why the middle east hates us’. and my snarky reply was that ‘thats like saying “that’s why asia hates us,” it’s overgeneralizing a huge population and turning them into one entity’. the original guy did not respond, but the guy next to him said damn like i’d said something out of line.

my in your face, annoying know-it-allism knows no bounds or limits.

i should have kept my mouth shut.

today is about a four on the mood scale.

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