yet there’s still this appeal that we’ve kept through our lives

today is class!

at first this morning i thought i had forgotten to take my meds the day before, as i was feeling a wee bit groggy, but now i feel fine. ugh, but when i do forget my meds, i feel like death. just wanna sleep but wake up every five minutes. and the dreams are downright disturbing. it’s horrible..

on the other side of the double-edged sword, i took a cocktail of pills to keep me focused yet try to take an edge off of the anxiety induced by the coffee i was stupid enough to drink. soooo ritalin and viibryd, abilify and clonazepam.

i like clonazepam because unlike say, xanax, it doesn’t make me feel drowzy and stupid. it just takes the edge off of all the self-conciousness, my tremor doesn’t seem so bad, et cetera.

the abilify is just one of the meds i’m on, along with viibryd, and seems to stabalize my mood pretty well. i’m fairly certain the abilify was prescribed to enhance the viibryd’s effects, tho it is an anti-psychotic technically.

i am technically diagnosed with bipolar 2, but i don’t really think the trademark hypomania is a problem, it’s the steady episodes of depression that get me.

honestly, when i talk to my psychiatrist, i completely ignore the bipolar 2 diagnosis as it seems like it is outdated to me, and anxiety and depression are more prevalent these days.

sigh. everything is prevalent these days.

 

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