rachel had her baby. weird how distant she is from me now. married, a baby. lol. life is so silly like that. work, class, home, rinse, repeat. i’m so ambivalent and unsure about so many things in my life, have been for so long. i’m so afraid to commit to any of it, feeling so much like it could be torn away at any second so why even bother. all or nothing has always been my way.