i feel like i’m juggling everything, but i can’t juggle for shit. i remember juggling in elementary school, and i was stuck on scarves. i would rather just watch them fall than try to scramble to catch them. everything is bad in my mind at this moment. everything ends, though, i tell myself. my bro passed his emt course, so that’s cool. i’m a bit jealous tbh. not of that specifically, but just how easy he takes life in general. he has strength where i fail to see any in me.