gotta gotta be down because i want it all

next week is going to be busy, by my weak, puerile standards. i work for monday, tuesday, wednesday, and friday, and have class for those first three days. i think armela will be able to give me a ride to the campus (i seriously love her, she is awesome). i want to pay her but she refused last time. ha i said i’d give her the same amount as the cabbie that took me on monday. kim from work told me her husband has cancer. i’m so worried for her. with shit like that, you never know what to do or say. there isn’t anything to do to make it better, make it go away. pure powerlessness. the nicest thoughts in the world won’t make it right. i’m happy for that syrian refugee selling pens in beirut from twitter though…even if he is just one of thousands and thousands of people displaced by horrible war. but i hope he lives on with his kids and they all go on to help others there, as i feel helpless here. and then i think, hey, i may feel helpless, but just think what these people are going through to get to any sort of safety and comfort, and then so many of them never make it. or they do make it as far as europe and are greeted by conflict-weary, jaded people who are sick of refugees ruining their pretty scenery. makes my heart sick with sadness. i get that ache that i often hate. empathy. ugh.

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