my mom says i have a generous heart. i don’t see it tonight. i have an ugly, broken heart that will always be jealous and fearful and lonely and sad and angry. it will always want what it can’t have. it is the fucking human condition. so no, tonight i have no generosity in my heart. i just have a blurry image of someone i want. it’s a greedy heart. even if i want just friendship, just to know i’m not alone in thinking i’m all alone here, it’s more than i deserve.