i miss my friends. i’ve said it before, but it’s just in my head on repeat. and i miss whatshisface, even though he could be a jerk at times. i’m a jerk too so it evens out. he was a great friend to me. i miss him. i miss them all and i hope they’re doing well. i worry about rachel because i know she can be crazy manic and do stupid and reckless things without someone around to bring her down (like me). but it looks like she’s doing fine so that’s good. i just want to tell them i’m sorry for cutting contact so badly, but the fear of rejection keeps me from saying anything.